Spiritual Roller Coaster

Millman (1980) says that we are “full of useless knowledge.” He believes that we carry too many facts about the world, but know so little about ourselves. I have always found familiarity in acquiring knowledge and striving for constant facts and juicy tidbits. Often I’ll find myself reading and researching for the sake of applying the material instead of for the intrinsic sake of soaking the impressions in and reading for the innate pleasure of the moment.

This familiarity of filling space and time with external information has allowed me to internally eschew the unknown. This fear of introspection, and change that it may foster, has been the crux of my spiritual roller coaster.

Recently, I have been finding through difficult emotional times, working inward instead of filling the void outward can increase my resolution. Kornfield (19913) writes, “in difficulties, we can learn the true strength of our practice.” The author continues, “very often what nourishes our spirit most is what brings us face to face with our greatest limitations.” One of my personal limitations is taking time and creating space to look inward and sit with my feelings and thoughts. As Kornfield advises, I am working on gravitating toward my areas of need instead if mindlessly avoiding and cloaking these areas with covers.

This is a constant challenge and has forced me to work toward a new paradigm shift. Kornfield says:

“The basic difference between an ordinary man and a warrior is that a warrior takes everything as a challenge, while an ordinary man takes everything as a blessing or curse.”

I must transform my relationship to my surroundings by a reshaping of perspective. Difficulties become opportunities and expectations begin to fall by the wayside. The search for knowledge can begin to turn inward as I lesson the vice grip on what expectations and intended use of what is learned.

Through embracing difficulties and change I can begin to appreciate the fear of the mysterious. By giving up the familiarity of the known, these useless tidbits of knowledge from the outside word, I can more confidently venture into the uncharted territories of the unknown of my true self. Merit and resolve is tested as I must face these complexities instead of run from them.

Seeing difficulties as constraints that can be negotiated through instead of barriers with to avoid (Jackson, 1993) creates a positive attitude for success and balance. Appreciating these constraints as spiritual hurdles that support on the path to awareness begins to lessen the stress amid trying and difficult times.

Millman, (1980) talks about the heart of a warrior as “loving everything and everyone who appears before you.” With the mind, we can find clarity through flexibility and non-judgment. We are able to relieve ourselves from preconceptions and begin to love the difficulties, embrace them, learn from them instead of walk away from them or cover them up.